K-pop Lyrics

Jumped out of the 2nd floor
of a record store
With a Treacherous
Four cassette and
a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growin'
like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and
Hence the origin of the
Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins
of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords
in dresser drawers
And deadbolts
on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept
in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend

Use intercourse
to settle scores
With women who have
vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in 'til
there's shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they're
only bein' fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores
can get abortions
Fetish for stickin' metal forks
in self-absorption
Skeletor I went to Hell
and fell a floor
A predator I'm headed
for competitors
Better warn 'em
what I lack in tact
and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors
like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus Chuck Norris
with a thesaurus
Yes of course
a mess of warrants
You want some?
Come and get some boys!
I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo
a refresher course
On excessive force
and pressure points
And dressin' George Zimmerman
in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels
to address the court
With a bullseye on his back
his whole chest and torso
Are left on the doorsteps of
Trayvon's dad as a
present for him
In my present form
I'm Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction
there's no suppressant for
Aggressive forceful
and less remorseful
in every morsel
Unpleasant horrible
hello gorgeous!
The rebel with devil horns
just fell off the
yellow short bus
Met a contortionist said
When you wanna get sexual?
She said However
I fit in your schedule
I'm flexible
Expired tags on the Saturn
got Catherine Bach
In the back in Daisy Dukes
with the hazards on
At a traffic stop gettin'
harassed sign an autograph
For this asshole cop's daughter
Laugh 'cause I called her
a brat on it
He spat on it and brought
it back lookin' half in shock
Had a heart attack
and dropped dead
Started fallin' back with it
And got slapped with a
Colin Kaepernick practice sock

One ball and half a dick
Apple Watch
Crack front axle
walked in a Bass Pro Shop
with David Hasselhoff
pulled Tabasco sauce
out of my satchel
Knocked over a
fisherman's tackle box
and crash sound
Asked if they had
a laughin' stock
That was fuckin' stupid

You got it twisted all
'cause I offered this bitch
A doggie biscuit
you call me misogynistic
Bitch get to massagin'
this dick!
Like spas in this bitch
slob on it with
gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin' list for you
to run some odds
and ends with
It's not a bitch on this earth
I can be monogamous with
She's non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin'
dick on some suave
and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at
bitches like fuckin'
missile launches
Misfit blond and nitwit
Like I've gone ballistic
with a frostin' tip kit
Screamed I hate blondes
and became one
I'm optimistic
Love to start shit
Shovin' Clark Kent's
undergarments in the
glove compartment
Of the bucket bumpin'
Bubba Sparxxx
I'm double
parkin' up at Targets
trouble causer
a double crosser
Shadiest mothafucka
you'll ever come across
Olympic gymnast
been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits
enough to cause a
stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan
results as Rainman's is
Something's off
but when Dustin Hoffman's
Dressin' up in your
mummy costume
On stage dancin' to
Brain Damage
what's the problem?
Nothing's wrong
the name brand is
back to reclaim status
Run the faucet I'mma dunk
A bunch of Trump
supporters underwater
Snuck up on 'em in Ray-Bans
in a gray van with a spray tan
It's a wrap
like an ACE bandage
Don't-give-a-fuck persona
to my last DNA strand
E&J in the waistband
at the VMAs with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa
pre-arrange an escape plan
Three-inch blade on point
like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of
this dang candidate
You say Trump don't
kiss ass like a puppet
'Cause he runs his campaign
with his own cash
for the fundin'
And that's what you wanted
A fuckin' loose cannon
who's blunt with his hand
on the button
Who doesn't have to answer
to no one?great idea!

If I was president
Gettin' off is the first
order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that'll
make me happy's walkin' up
to Uncle Sam
Naked laughin'
dick cupped in hand
Screamin' Fuck safe sex!
Throw a latex and an
AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned
and make it snappy
Addiction to friction
and static
Addict who can't
escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it
I walked up in Major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest
and a racin' jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away
in the station wagon
Stacey Dash's and
Casey Anthony's
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwin' Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the
passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes
in traffic so hard
I snapped the
relocation brackets
for the monster tires
'Finna get a murder case
and catch it
Like you threw it at me
encased in plastic

And send Dylann Roof through
the windshield of the Benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel
and begins feelin'
Like a windmiller with a thin
build while his skin's peelin'
And skids 'til he hits
a cement pillar
Swing for the fence
like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the
upper peninsula
You wanna go against
'zilla? The Rap God
When will I quit?
Never been realer
The in-stiller of fear
not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than
Prince in a chinchilla
Or Ben Stiller
in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer
avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe 'til I
Draw first blood
Even pop shit on my pop shit
and it's popular
Couldn't be more awkwarder
Cause you're innocence
I robbed you of
It's my fingers that
got stuck up
Taught ya ta not give a
Slapstick hockey puck
The broad hunter
with the sawed off
Like an arm when
it's lopped off of ya
But I'm not gonna
get the shotgun
Or the Glock
I'm gonna opt for the ox
Cause I'm into objects
that are sharp when I shop
And it's not a shock
I'm such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock
'cause who would have thought
This much of a cocksucker
to go across the buttocks of
Vivica Fox with a box cutter
That was for 50 little slap
on the wrist be warned
I'm unravelin' quickly
My squabbles I'm grappling
with your time
traveling with me
Try and follow as I wobble
relapse into history
with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then
I'm twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to
Chris Reeve's spine column
That's the plan of attack
when I'm fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn't having
to get these rhymes off 'em
But the fact that I have
so many rappers against me
mind boggles
And why I haven't come back on
these faggots who diss me is
More of a spectacular
mystery than a fucking
Agatha Christie crime novel

But my patience is
wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin'
rubbing shit in your face
'til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric
until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had
fuckin' careers to end
But then I think of
Molly Qerim and I steer 'em
in that direction
and forget my ideas for them
Molly I'm gone off you
Man light some kush
You're my first take
I'll nail you
Can't lie I gush
If I won you over
you would be the grand prize
I'm entranced by your looks
come and give the
Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can
like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small
least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against
your damn side your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attire's that?
I'm ready to be rode
Psychopath bet you
we'll get it poppin'
like a flat
Light the match to
ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and
slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might
just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that
come to mind as soon as I
start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren't
really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars
wouldn't dial it back
if I star 69ed the track

Why am I such a dick?